Here at buddyfeed.com, we want to help you better understand what this world is going to throw at you. Unfortunately, we know you are busy and you probably don’t want to read five sentences from us about how you are going to find true love this week. So we have decided to condense someone else’s horoscope for this weekend into as few words as we can. This weeks horoscopes have been condensed from dailyscope.com.  Here’s you week. Sorry Aries.

Aries - You’re Fucked

Taurus -Cha-ching

Gemini - Mmmmm…..

Cancer - Badda-bing

Leo - Be Polite

Virgo - Be Careful

Libra - Please Invest

Scorpio - Who’s the Pimp?

Sagittarius - Take a chance

Capricorn - Shitttt…

Aquarius - Go for it.

Pisces - Help someone